Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
