Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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