Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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