it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
