Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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