Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
