why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
