five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
