Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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