I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm passing your future prison.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
