I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
