The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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