What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
