mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
