I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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