I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
