Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
im on a boat
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