Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
