Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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