Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
