ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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