Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
