C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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