Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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