do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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