If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
