another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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