I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
