forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Houston, we have a squirter
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
