Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
