Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
