how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
