Is it because I queefed?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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