DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
