I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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