I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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