Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
