why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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