I heard we made out
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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