just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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