Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
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