I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I stole a fireplace last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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