Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
