Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
