i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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