Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
