I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
