Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
