it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
