trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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