She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
