you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
