Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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