I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
