Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
